Day Two (Again)

Well, I'm still on track, and still no urges to smoke. I think I'll do pretty good this weekend, just because there will be plenty of stuff to do. My smoking buddy has been on Chantix for a week now as well, and he quits tomorrow. It's going to help that we are both quitting together. I gotta say he's been pretty supportive. Not offering me cigarettes even though he still smoked. Looking forward to the long weekend. Hopefully get a couple rounds of golf in.

Where is my self control?!!??

Dear God.

My old boss was in town last night. Haven't seen him in months. Of course he's a smoker. Of course we go out for dinner and drinks and a few more drinks. I was worried about this one. Especially so close to quitting. Of course I had a couple smokes with my boss. Of course I felt awful about it later on. I do love this medicine though. I felt nothing from the cigarettes, and actually, they tasted bad to me.

So it sucks, and here I am AGAIN, restarting. My carbon monoxide level must be up again in my blood!

What did I learn? I'm not having any alcoholic beverages for at least a couple weeks. Maybe a month. Not a big deal, I'm not the kind of guy that needs to drink everyday, or even every week for that matter.

The guilt trip I'm sending myself on is worse than the smoking! It's ridiculous that I keep going back to the old habit. I don't even want one. The cravings are flat out, not there. I'll step it up this weekend. Spending it with the family at the cottage, so watching my two kids run around will certainly make me not want to smoke.

Day Two.

I actually cannot believe how great I feel. I had no urges whatsoever this morning. I haven't even thought of wanting a smoke. I actually think smoking that cigarette yesterday was a help, because it showed me that I got no enjoyment out of smoking while on Chantix.

So my oxygen level and carbon monoxide level have returned to normal in my blood, and my chance of heart attack has decreased! At least that's what the old world wide web tells me.

Day Two minus One.

So yesterday ended up pretty well. I was tired from nicotine deprivation, and I fell asleep on the couch at 9:30. I usually go to bed about 11:30, so big difference.

I get up this morning, no real big cravings. I grab my wallet from on top of the fridge, and staring me in the face is a pack of Marlb Lights with probably six smokes left. I picked them up, then threw them back down. Finished getting ready for work, went to walk out the door and stopped. I went back grabbed a smoke, and got in the car.

So I lit it up, and smoked the whole damned thing on the way to work. Funny thing is, I didn't get the rush I was expecting. I was hoping for that killer buzz you get after laying off nicotine for a day. It actually pissed me off! I guess this medicine works after all!

Then the guilt started in. Why the f*** did I smoke that? I didn't get any enjoyment out of it whatsoever. So now I've just restarted the process as of about 7:45AM. Whatever. I'm smoke free again, and I've told my wife to make those cigarettes on the fridge disappear. I had to try one, and it sucked, so off we go.

..and thanks for the comments folks. I was honestly blogging this for myself, but glad you found it. None of my family or friends know about this blog. It doesn't bother me if they find it, but I'm not going out of my way to tell them about it. Thank you all for your kind words and support. I'll venture around and look at your blogs too.

Day One (+6) - Crush the Pack Day!

So I've been downing Chantix for a week. I was able to see it work. I noticed I didn't need to run out the door this weekend to have a smoke the first thing after I got up. That is usually what I do.

Yesterday, well this morning, was my last day as a smoker. I smoked my ass off too. Not that I needed the smoke, but that it was my last day so I was going to puff as much as possible!

So far so good today, it's 3PM and really the only issue I'm having is an overwhelming feeling of being tired. Like tired to the point I want to shut the office door and put my head down. The C has taken the edge of the cravings. If I just don't think about it, it goes away. I mean, if I wanted a cig my smoking buddy downstairs would love for me to join him.

So far so good..

Keep on keepin' on.

Day One.

Took my first pill this morning.

Chantix. I know several people this has worked for, so I'm giving it a try. A week from now, I'll be done smoking!

I've read about some of the side effects, wierd dreams, trouble sleeping, so we'll see. Right now I'm freaking exhausted. Long weekend, and early morning this morning due to the kids.

It's time.

My kids are almost 3 and 1. They deserve it. My wife deserves it just as much. She has had to put up with me smelling like smoke for 11 years .

I've smoked for 13 years, but I want to be around to see my kids graduate High School.

It's time.